patience

“To be fully alive, fully human,

 and completely awake

 is to be continually thrown out of the nest.”

Pema Chodron ~

   Lying in my bed last evening watching a program with my 13 year old daughter, a moment to treasure so rare , these days. Heart is full, content, cozy its all good 
 when all of  a sudden, her head spun around like the classic Linda Blair in the exorcist…”What? ”  I said, ” is it , am i doing something that is bothering you?” I could see just well enough in the light from the television..  she her was glaring , yes glaring at me “YES ,your chewing ( i had grabbed a piece of gum and i actually had the audacity to be chewing it ) she continued “it has always bothered me, my whole life, i cant stand IT I Want to scream . ”    MY CHEWING  OMG
Are you kidding me I replied your whole life you have hated my chewing? “YES” she replied through gritted teeth.

(  I know that this is a bold face lie.
she used to love everything about me, I was her favorite person.) 

Ok deep breath ” honey ,I don’t think (first mistake im not validating her feelings )it’s been your whole life , I think maybe the past year you have hated my chewing.”
Her response” you just really annoy me I can’t help it.”

These words hurt of course. It is a shock the first time it happens you inadvertently find yourself  in this crazy out of nowhere as seen on tv ,parental hell. Had this been my first rodeo it may have put me over the proverbial edge. I know this to shall pass, she will grow through this angst (the adolescence cloud that hovers just above) and come out on the other side wanting to share things with me again. i must be patient.
“Well, Honey  I will try not to annoy you . so you may want to leave the room now.I’m going to be doing some big chewing right now…in MY room .”
Good Night sweetie