I long to light the candles
fill the room with soft soothing shadows dancing
cold tile, my feet are remembering
i have always remembered
I look around at this sanctuary.
it’s just a stand in.
cool white porcelain stands unmet
a stage set for my heart
A promise. I made to me
To go forward never looking back
Build what i want
Keep going
It works until she looks around
bandaids everywhere
The what almost happened
It’s ok I say out loud
Scratch the surface
Look closely rust ,deep scars
permanent dirt, empty place no water will fill
clean
sweet
peace
sink in
lean back
its ok
It’s there
all of it
The pain, the loss,
It’s almost good enough
almost perfect
she embraces the imperfection
rust ,grime, ah, just under the surface is real
good enough will do
illusions at work right
Until
It crumbles
dreaming
dreams will not be in the light
the warm embrace steaming silence
The silence of her song
tender bubbles atop the cleansing
Sweet soap
soft towels
I’m here i made it
porcelain cracked rough cold
dull chandelier hangs just above me
I see
wood shoveled in place holding my world
What can i see ,if not my truth
I’m alone with her reality , hoping to be good enough
water does not flow here
sparking light goes out
I knew all along it was held together barley clinging
hope joy sadness
almost worthy
A disguise
good masking
the truth
Ironic
unspoken misunderstandings 